


My diamond, my diamond, and me

by Ozthelazy



Category: My Brother My Brother and Me (Podcast), Steven Universe (Cartoon)
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-04
Updated: 2018-08-04
Packaged: 2019-06-21 18:39:40
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,176
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15564024
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ozthelazy/pseuds/Ozthelazy
Summary: What if the diamonds were just the good good Mcelroy boys.





	My diamond, my diamond, and me

**Author's Note:**

> Based off a Tumblr post and the mbmbam show.

"Do do do do do..."

"Oh no I dont think we can have a colony wisdom and a human watch." Griffin diamond groaned biting back a smile as his bright yellow eyes followed Justins every move.

"Dodododododo Human watch" Justin diamond beamed as he brought up an opaque pink bubble.

"Pink No." Travis diamond whined pushing himself further away from the table and the bubble running a hand through his blue hair. "Just a quick heads up I'm nervous, legitimately very nervous."

Justin diamond just beamed his cheeks flushing pinker with his excitement, "alright dont look. Dont look!" Travis groaned as he pinched his eyes shut and Griffin giggled as he covered his. "Alright dont look just picture a human in your head. Your not looking your waiting and....Now." Justin popped the bubble letting a soft dark human plop ungracefully to the table.

"Oh Diamond!" Travis shouted jumping a good foot away. "Its so much worse than I thought it would be." Griffin laughed banging a hand on the table causing the poor human to almost fall off. Justin quickly caught it holding it under the armpits wiggling it softly.

"No please don't."

"Look he can stand on his own." Justin explained placing the little alien on the table, "thats how you know its human."

"Its so...ugly." Griffin Diamond determined his face twisting in disgust as he moved to get a closer look terrifying the poor human who let out a terrified scream scrambling away.

"Oh no! Stop! please dont make it move." Travis whined pulling his arm close as griffin continued to push his face closer to the human

"Oh im not making it move," Griffin stated innocently as he pushed Travis closer to the human.

\--->

"Let me introduce you to the hightech futuristic way of motivating soldiers." Griffin bent over rummaging through a box behind him, "it will inspire them for centuries to come."

"Alright." Justin mumbled trying to hide his smile. Travis only nodded and both diamonds almost lost it as Griffin brought up an absolutely archaic machine. "Look upon the propaganda machine 69.0" Griffin stated proudly.

"So there has been 68 other versions before it." Travis rasped trying to hold in his giggles.

"No. Shall I get started?"

"Proceed." Both diamonds waited with bated breath as the machine started up.

"Soldiers are..." Justin read aloud. "Hungry for responsibility." Griffin mimed patting his belly, "Alright we dont feel hunger but I like the thought."

"Horny for teamwork." Justin snorted slightly but managed to control himself, "you just learned what that meant last week."

"And ready to..bust a nut up in this job." Justin finished breaking into a full bellied laughter along with Travis.

"What does that even mean." Travis laughed clutching his stomach while Griffin made a thrusting motion in his seat.

"Skills." Justin continued only to bust out laughing again, "8 foot vertical leap." Griffin licked his lips hungrily.

"Gems in general can jump more than a hundred feet." Travis said between his laughter.

"Young, dumb and full of... You know" griffin gave an exaggerated wink while Justin tried to continue between his gasps for air. "Oh shit this thing has other colors! Thanks for your time...I love You." Travis was on the floor at this point his laughter now muffled," I dont think HR would approve." Justin smirked his face quiet rosy as Griffen only shrugged.

\------> 

*Justin leading his brothers on a spaceship tour of earth.*

"So Justin and Travis went down to earth real quick but they said I was to bright and Yellow and I would scare all the soft human boys away so I couldnt go with them but they took a viewing orb with them." Griffin explains pointing to a screen on the panel that fizzles before showing a bright green plant covered land.

"Hey yellow hows it going?" The two diamonds waved Travis struggling to hide his giggles.

"Griffin I wish you could be here." Justin starts glancing to some point behind the viewing orb" its truly magical."

"No joke Pinks army has already built a statue of him." Travis yells waving his hands around excitedly.

"Woah Travis look whats coming out of the cliff over there." Justin shouts pointing to someplace out of view. "What?" "Its a bismuth! And she has two magical swords!" The two diamonds run off screen.

"This is so awesome." Travis shouts somewhere off screen.

"Hey guys I-Iwant a sword to!" Griffin shouts slamming his hands on the panel to try and get the viewing orb to turn. " M-maybe we could set up like a timeshare." Griffin mumbled only to be totally ignored.

"Thank you for the gifts my totally loyal followers but we must be going know." Griffin pouted as the diamonds voices grew closer before they popped back into frame their arms slung around each other. "That was amazing and now we're even closer as diamonds." Travis laughed," that was great."

"Yeah well I'm having an adventure to." Griffin runs out of the other diamonds view. "Woah white diamond what are you doing here?!"

"White diamond is still on homeworld." Justin muttered not looking the least bit impressed.

"Woah my pearls here and she has something."

"No she doesn't." Travis loudly whispers to Justin who nods in agreement.

"ITS WEED!"

"You dont even know what that is."

\- -

\- - 

\--

"She's coming."

"Whos coming?" Griffin asked looking over to Justin and Travis who just shrugged before turning back to Clint.

"Rose quartz isnt on homeworld Clint."

"No, something infinitely worse." Clint said his face far to solemn, like a man who is staring down eternity.

"You dont mean?" Justin gasped jumping to his feet. Clint only nodded his shoulders sagging with the weight of his knowledge. "

Who pink? Whose coming?" Griffin yelled grabbing the smaller diamond by the shoulder and turning him to face him. Justins face was a mask of horror.

"Our monster" He whispered. Griffin collapsed to his knees.

"No no no!" Griffin yelled banging his fist on the floor. "She wasnt ever supposed to come back we made sure." Justin just shook his head burying his face in his hands.

"Um am I missing something." Travis asked awkwardly. "Were talking about the destroyer of worlds, the deity among deities, the end of the end, the mother of roachie, fixer of babies. The. Final. Pam." Griffin explained before turning to sob into Justin's shoulder.

"Pam the human?"

"Pam the human." Griffin mimicked, "No! Jesus Blue pay attention. God damn. Were talking about monster factory." Griffin yelled throwing his hands in the air dramatically.

"Oh....you mean the show you and Justin do without me?" Travis muttered picking at his clothes.

"Uh yeah Travis like shmanners the show you do with out Justin or me" Travis pouted but dropped it

"Anyways how much time do we have?" Justin asked ignoring the other diamonds. Clint opened his mouth to answer only for the doors to explode. A voice like the eternal abyss reaching to steal your soul rang through the room.

"Pretty good you boys dont seem."


End file.
